“How To Love Me”

I might have been loved
If he were not broken into
Kind voices might be
Easy to trust
If my dreams were kindly
Spoken to

I might fall
For what hearts say
If he did not bury himself
So easily
Forgiveness is worth
My tears
As I pray

But what can I feel
When he could not feel
For me?

But I have it in me to love
Love is faith in someday
Love keeps me
In the light of God
Clouds hover over
How to love me
I believe
They will clear someday

They ran to my rescue
Only flying to save
Their own sanity
I was convinced
My mind was true
But still surprised
Love notes failed me

I was left free
To make my own religion
But it’s time to draw lines
When you could shake me
With your indecision
And I revered you
As you were raping my mind

But I’ll find it in in me to love
Love is faith in someday
Love preserves the light of God
Clouds hover over
how to love me
I believe
They’ll clear away
Someday….

Love that boy
If he loses his mind
Hold him close
When passion makes him
Unkind

My heart is more anxious
But it brought yours
Back to life
You sleep soundly
As I’m sometimes restless
Desperate to make sense
Of your emptiness inside

I could feel loved
If you were not broken into
Your voice was too easy
To trust
But you can’t love
And I overtly used to

We’re all born to love
Show him
How to love someday
You wouldn’t leave him
In the light of God
As clouds hung over
How to ever love me
Nobody knew
how to love me
Yesterday.

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“Without Heaven”

In circles I find you
When I fall again
God designed you
At the core of him

I’m special once more
Like brisk dawns
Before tortured noons
For a second I soar
Before love dies too soon

You were here again
When I saw him
He put down his mask
And you went back

Skies are not blue
Till you open them
God is finally true
When there’s love to send

The sun of his heart
Don’t say I’ll get burned
I’ve learned from the start
You’re never again
For me to earn

You land here again
As he walks up to me
Your disease sets in
He grows sick of me

You’re so happy
You’re so cured
When he touches me
And feels so pure

But we all suffer
We’ll all break down
We’ll never be younger
Forgetting
Each other’s sound

It can’t be you again
I mistook him
He fooled each sense
Without Heaven
He’s so dense.

Illuminated True Colors

You’ve taught me
I’m undeserving of
Being loved
For who I am inside

You unraveled
Became a hard lesson
A season
Passing painfully inside

You’ve shown me
The true colors
Of those who appear
To be angels sent

Then they’re so demonic
And so impure
Your wings were winded
Then you became absent

You sought me
For all I’m made of
To never return love
But I should not
Have had expectations

You found me
But uncovering you
Falling into you
Lost me
In devastating confusion

You’ve illuminated
True colors
Of heavenly creatures
Allegedly sent

But you’ve abandoned me
Because you’re impure
I winded your wings
You were swiftly absent

There are still
Misunderstandings
There are still
Unanswered questions
You claim to have vanished for me
A supposedly
Selfless abandonment

If the others
Remained silent
If you listened
To your sad heart
You’d hear
You’re not in confinement
You’d hear me
Wherever you are

But I already know
Your true colors
You’re no angel sent
You’re self-absorbed
You’re impure
I hope you go far
With newly winded wings
How do you feel
When you’ve made me
Forever absent?

Strong One

I had the strength
And you regained
Your lost might
In your dream
You are tamed

I have been free
I dazzle you
But bitterly
It took you
To show me

You called me
The strong one
After zillions sets of suns
After abused sons
I rediscovered
I’m the strong one

Your days became poetry
Each oasis had promises
You ended the line
About me
With more of an end
Than a kiss

But I have strength
And I am free
I know your rain
Our cloud clears
Bittersweetly

You said
I’m the strong one
Blinded by the sun
Lost like released a son
I survived you
As the strong one

I’d be strong enough
To kiss you goodbye
To honor your love
Without leaving darkness
Of vanished butterflies

I’m strong enough to see
We’ll forever be one
You fled more bitterly
Than bittersweetly
Still, I’d show you
You’re untamed,
a strong son

I’m here
To say you’re a strong one
Like a zenith of suns
Once an abused son
Still you swallow sorrow daily
As a strong one.

Saying Goodbye

You tasted
Like a happy pill
That gave me
An adverse reaction

What you told me
Stole my will
I felt
A spiritual subtraction

But tunes I just heard
Resounding
in a nuthouse
Were like melodious birds
Like those you stifled
In my mouth

Saying Goodbye
To those on the crazy side
Almost made me cry

Letting you go
After what I just realized

Only baffles me
For wading in your tides

You disenchanted me
To an asylum
After you forsook me
Stripping my safety

But I own I let you
Become my delirium
And I only let you
Make me believe I’m crazy

The tune you chanted
Like a delusional loon
Without exposure to
The deals God granted
Underneath your moon
In bottomless wells I landed
I refuse to partake
In your tune

Saying Farewell
To those on the crazy side
Almost made me cry

But letting you go
Only baffles me
For how fruitlessly
I tried

You want positivity
You seek balance
You want thoughts
To be flowery
Because you fall
As you stand

You killed me
So very subtly
With a smile
Always winning me
But you change
When you feel deeply
You constantly
And senselessly
Damage me
Pinning me

Bidding Adieu
To those on my crazy side
Can make me cry

But I can let you go
Because you can easily turn
When I unconditionally
Waded in your tides.