“Battering Love”

All I love in you
Is about redeeming you
You dazzle me
With your black wings
You make torment
Inspire angels to sing

I’m mourning time passed
You know
the language of outcasts
I will never achieve
peace of a dove
Allowing battering love

I saw Mama walk away
From love so bruising
When you don’t care
If my heart fades away
My heart always
has Mama’s courage
To keep flying

Behind your weaponry
Are hands I longed to be
So tender to me
But I need my blood to flow
Without anymore toxins

Your most tender hands
Can’t undo your damage
And their imprint

I was wounded as time passed
Each sunrise lived in fear
Of being jaded by your wrath

You’ll never hinder
my achievement
of peace of a dove
I’ll never allow
your battering love

I saw Mama walk away
From love so bruising
When you can’t give a damn
If my heart fades away
My heart will forever have
Mama’s courage
To keep flying

If I live life alone
I’ll live no longer
dodging your stones
When I idolize you
in my weakest moments
I’ll know idolization is
for the Spirit World
I’ll remember your incisions
almost led me
to the best of my demons

Seeing Mama walk away
From love so bruising
Though you don’t care
If my heart can fade away
She gave me the courage
To keep flying.

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“Your Polar Dove”

Bewildered
As to who you really are
But I recall your words
You cried through
As you pained
For my vacated heart

I never knew love till I loved you
I know man can be kind because of you
You’re the instrumental love
With chords always bringing tears
Flowing from your polar dove

Romance is hindered
When you’re my ideal
But our lingering tale together
Freed me
to let so much heal

I never knew love till I loved you
I know man can be kind because of you
You’re the instrumental love
With chords always bringing tears
Flowing from your polar dove

I have embraced
You’re at a different pace
With a different portrait you trace

Some nights
I still lose my wits
To a deluge of tears

Remembering how
you zealously said
you would have chosen me
If your fate was not
Already chosen

So I have your fate only
And never your security again
To embrace.

“More Than Zero (For Andrew)”

If you dreamt of me
I’d never let go
Whenever you’d see me
You’d always follow

I failed to know
How to love you
You didn’t know
How to ask to be loved

You said
I was your superhero
After another was my hero
After I’ve too long
felt like zero

We’re the same
Burning the same hell within
We put our hearts to shame
You escape through addiction

I weep not knowing
Where you’re sleeping
I can’t be saved
You’re not mine to be saving

You said
I’m your superhero
After another was my hero
After spending too long
Feeling like zero

You asked for validation
I ask for our serenity
But I know our connection
Came amidst our heartbreaks
Serendipitously

You say I’m persistent
I say you clean up beautifully
But now I’m independent
And you’re still that cyclone
Circling yourself
I almost couldn’t see

But I’m glad to have been
Your superhero
Seasonal like my hero
You’ve made me feel
More than zero.

“Numb Flesh”

For Eric Baker

Crumbling without you
Corrupted beside you
You always knew what to say
Tearful for your touch
that has come to fade

I can’t remember
how you feel
My purpose
Easy to steal

Numbness of your flesh
can’t save me
There was life
your touch gave me

You painted my skies
A snowflake melted
before my eyes

You offered belonging
I’ve never had
Then couldn’t grasp
I’ve always been mad

Can you remember how I feel?
Was our purpose ever real?
Your numb flesh can’t save me
Your touch was life you gave me

I know I’m a man now
Still I long for my fire alarm
To be heard

Can’t you somehow
Feel how you once
took pride in touch
As a lovebird?

Grieving all I belonged to
You can’t fathom
being anonymous

Can you note you never
followed through
Nesting me with what
Made you appear
to be virtuous?

When you can’t remember
how love feels
Motioning in life seems unreal

Your flesh numbed
You’ll never again salvage me
I bawl for life
your flesh gave me.