“Why Give Me To You?”

Questioning Him
Why give me to you?
To be a belief system
Glorifying suicide
Before you can convince me
God is true

Your church circulates
Through my spirit
Till my faith vacates

I’m only surviving
without you
I was never alive
for me
Life was always
about you

I’m creative
I’m curious
My days are crying spells
I could never make you proud
You only drove me
Into the hands
of the weakest

I’m not your victim
I know why you
broke me down
Someone shattered you
as a girl

I don’t beat myself up
I was mindful
when I shut you down

But I’m tortured
By letting you go
I cry for any god
To explain
what he or she knows

I’m only existing
without you
I’ve never been alive
for me
Life was about you

I’m creative
I’m curious
My days are crying spells
I could never make you proud
You incessantly drove me
Into the hands
of the weakest

I have your sixth sense
When a man tries
overtaking me
But your absence
clouds my lens
Pain between us
steals my clarity

Asked why
I’m your victim
And I use the backbone
you gave me
And make it clear
I’m only setting myself free
And we all work
at a different pace
To grieve

I’ll grow to live
without you
I’ll learn to feel alive
for me
Though life was always
about you.

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