Can’t Return Touch

“Can’t Return Touch”

You can’t return touch
I can’t burn too much
You’ve suddenly realized
What I’ve known in your eyes
Such fantasy is my history
That has brought delicious misery

I’ve ignited another spark,
But within you
You emerge saying
It feels so true
I’ve cried to you
Of past departures
In many ways
You’ve recaptured
My feelings I’d follow
To my death
And yet to rescue
My painful breath

Your sweetness, your kindness
Your sudden open heartedness
Inspires me
To risk one more lifetime
So long as you persist
You can avoid my kiss
Your embrace
And my heart
Mean to be sublime

When you might hide again
Your confessions shall echo
In the end
You don’t want to hurt me
Your boyishness shall
Always haunt me

I kiss you
Because you welcome me
You lifted, but it’s some me
You can ask
About sordid reality
I will answer you
With all my honesty

I’ll say
All there is to fear
Is life where love
Is nowhere near
As long you have me
To run to
I have love
You can safely fall into

Visions of yours
Your soul I adore
Your desire to soar
Inspires me to fly
To my next lifetime
While you make me smile
And let me hold you
For awhile
I’ll let you grow
As I flourish
Our hearts will write a rhyme

You need a cocoon
Before you spread your wings
I need a cocoon
To fold and rest my wings
My cocoon
Is your cocoon
We’ll fold into each other
Underneath the bustling city’s moon

Your sweetness, your kindness
Your sudden openheartedness
Inspires me to leap from road signs
And if you can’t stay always
I’ll kiss you
As you simply feel my truth
For a moment in time.

Undefined Roles

Your calling
Was when I was lamenting
And I needed codependency

You disinfected me
But we pretended
And we parted like seas

You had a choice
You spoke with my voice
Your role becomes undefined
Your mirror won’t shine

You can’t imagine
My self sufficiency within
You rescue a family
But you struck gold
When I reached for you
Desperately

You were Mommy
You were Daddy
And so very godly

Miracles I see
Are that we’re not more crazy
From times so violently

You have a choice
But I own my voice
You ponder your role
Did weaving me together
make you whole?

You can’t imagine
Liberty is not sin
You salvage a real family
But you struck gold
When I sought you
Desperately

I’m entitled to grow
After being held down as zero
My mind was tethered
I couldn’t be sick forever

I’ll never settle like you
But I feel too true
Monarchs can be aggressive
Suicidal boys can be
Eager to live

You were searching
I was lamenting
We found each other
Codependently

You disinfected me
But couldn’t heal
Till I could see
You were floating away
At sea

You made your choice
Trembled my voice
I fear what I can’t read
I fear how easily I’d take heed

I never imagined
My voice within
You say I Love You
To your real family
But our souls were sold
When I asked
Do you love me?

Simply Cut Them Loose

“Simply Cut Them Loose”

We’re both sad
Momentarily glad
Our perceptions collide
You were the one to hide
I’d unfold and cut
Jabbed with words like rust

You were passive
I was aggressive
We’re both depressive

But now I do not die
Falling in a scream
I simply cut them loose
I refuse to resign
To a bad dream
Why be accused?

Men like you
Happen to find me
Smiles are few
It hurts when they can’t find me
Maybe its thick borders we love
Like jail bars dividing us

I’m aggressive
They’re passive
We’re both depressive

I refuse to sleep
Inside a scream
I simply cut them loose
I refuse to wake
To a bad dream
Why be abused?

You’re strong
About your right
I see your day
As more of a night

But I disagree
Too passionately
You want me to lay
Silently

Then you think
If you gave me the Earth
I’ll stop throwing knives
In some rebirth

But I plan to sleep
Without a scream
I will simply cut you loose
I will dream
Of all that gleams
My joy won’t be refused.

Disappear Tearfully

“Disappear Tearfully”

Boxed away
I pray the bags won’t rip
I can only be transported
As my wings were clipped

I rhapsodized
Of humans to lean on
I was blindsided
We’re alone on snakes
We’re dead on

And I’m moving away
Without being whisked away
Things shall bloom
In my new room
Some things are doomed

But if I envision God
Alongside me
No human can collide
Into me
Without losing to
The Spirit inside me
If I envision God
Inside me

I memorize
Maddened strands in souls
And I’ve seen you in me
But you let your colors fade dull

I’m slipping away
You can’t save my day
Some of me will bloom
In my new room
A lot of me was doomed

But if I envision God
Alongside me
No human can ever again
Break me
Without me becoming complete
With the God inside me
If I cling to God
Inside me

Some men
Are not meant to be
And some men
Can never be free
Maybe some men
Can only follow God morally
And mourn tearfully…

But a man
Was at my mercy
I know that man
Loved me passionately
I admire that man
Following God morally
As I disappear tearfully

Angels don’t remain anyway
I unburden your weight
A new season blooms
In my new room
Your heart in my hands
Was doomed

God is beside me
No human can be here
Angelically
So human saviors
Emancipate me
As God is
Alongside me.

Cold Breeze

“Cold Breeze”

I had direction
Guided by passion
If they professed love to me
I followed them blindly

I swung by the stars
Fueled by every spark
Till life lost its luster
We’re too dead to get flustered

So I bury my compass
Deeper than the seven seas
Mother and father
Left me to the cold breeze

Nowhere to go for us
Nowhere like where we’d be
I know now anyone who cares
Has concern like the cold breeze

They were navigators
Guiding me through my weather
If promises were made to me
Promises eased all my grief

I was in strong arms
Still in danger of harm
Maybe my father breaking me
And losing my angry mother
Is a relief

Because I buried my compass
Beyond the old me
An angry mother
An unfaithful father
Left me to the cold breeze

Nowhere to go for us
Nowhere like where we’d be
Anyone who might care
Cares only like the cold breeze

Followed delusional hearts
Listened to traumatized minds
From which I depart
In which they turn unkind

Its their heart and mind
Leading them to abandon
A boy once their sign
And they lose care
For their reason

So I have no compass
Days are like the seven seas
No mother
No father
Wrapped only
By the cold breeze

I took part
In leading us
I could have changed
Where we’d be

And only if I
Allow another to care
Will I never escape
This cold breeze.

In The Heat of Summer

‚Äč”In The Heat of Summer”

I could attribute
Misery so acute
To such callous hands
Too unsafe to land

Never carefree
Enough to let go
Too careless
For a centered glow
A mother angered
By childhood wars
Too many fathers lost
To their fractured scars

But in the heat of summer
Storms within keep you younger
When the years grow colder
Love is your endless hunger
Misery becomes your reason
To get yourself
Through Hell’s seasons

I could point fingers
At all my caregivers
And say whom I regret
Are the deepest bullets
Never healed
Enough to raise my head
I insecurely look
At gutters instead.

A mother mouthed
As she wished to
Every father seems
To be so untrue

You should not glue
Yourself to matriarchs
They speak disenchantment
Of falling, hypersensitive stars

Patriarchs misconstrue
Your effeminate resilience
Their treason abandonment
Is your life sentence

But in the heat of Summer
Raging storms keep you younger
As years grow colder
Love remains your hunger
Misery becomes the reason
To get through
Hell’s refreshing seasons

Its down to you
And only you alone
Dreams are few and few
But you have a home

Where your spirit is free
To fearlessly, richly roam
In the eyes of anyone godly
You’re finally safe at home

Mother, in the summer
Bruises you to keep you younger
Every year without a father
Love is your famine of hunger
But misery is your reason
To see yourself
Through emblazoned Hell’s seasons.

Strangers

07 OCTOBER 2016, 11:41 AM
You don’t know me
Now that I’m unbroken
You won’t show me
How your words are unbroken

I’m able to soar
Beyond thoughts of you
I learned life isn’t for
Living in a dwelling of you

I look around me
Find life had nothing to do with you
The universe found me
Showed me the sun could never
Be you

I am your stranger
No longer in danger
Of your confused words
And misguided birds
You threw me away
I’m a stranger
On my way

The tide was high
The current was deadly
You’d avert your eyes
I stubbornly had a fantasy

Now reality tastes sweet
When I barely touched you
Earth could fold over my feet
Its Heaven compared to
Loving you

I look within me
The worst of you fading passed
Love though sinfully
Was precious as stained, fragile glass

You’re my stranger
You’re not in danger
Of my cutting edge
Or me slipping you by my ledge
And you got away
A stranger on his way

I swallowed my pride
When you refused my side
You wouldn’t fear
My not being near

I know you well
Your secret Hell
I pray you’re on your way
To more loving days

As a stranger
My concerns linger
We were in danger
Of digging knives further
So we got away
We’re strangers on our way