“Bury One More Easter”

I should be living
Like resurrecting
Our eyes opened doors
Like eyes before.

I was dead at birth
You don’t have my worth
I just can’t celebrate
Gods that preach to you
Loving me is Hate.

I took enough pills
Like others
You conspired to take my will.
You’d feel charcoal
But never a birth of love
Just a decline
As a sinister soul.

You’re predictable
Stole my heart
Stole my soul
Blurred my focus
I can’t avoid a spark

Heart I was giving
You were supporting
Life support you’re
Unplugging.

Thought there was hope
Like infections cope
I just can’t pray for
Life that leaves me begging
Leaves me unanswered for.

I stare at pills
Like the others
You paralyzed me still.
If you sleep past dawn
If I slipped you a downer
You’d feel like you feel
For my song.

You were colorful
Like an Easter egg
I mistook you’re soulful.
I’ve never been
Inside my head
I can’t avoid
My spirit’s death.

Unbreakable chain
Irreversibly in rain
Predictable allure
Desperate to feel secure.

You think we’ve grown
Like primates to Pastors
But our regress can’t be sewn.
As we bury one more Easter
I die again
You’ve just flown.

“Butterflies Are Liars”

There’s no recapturing
Myself before you
You carried through a boy
And a weary man
Wobbles before you

You’ve walked me
Through your gardens
You’ve left me
Scorching in my Hell
Betraying your sermons
But I’ve made a home
Inside bottomless wells

I’m called freer
I just don’t care anymore
You’re the reaper
I’m numb at my core

You’re sheerly symbolizing
Innocence suddenly lost
Mama’s boy was grieving
Your net had a cost

Now souls are two faced
As I listen to your hymns
I’ll never trust
A church boy’s grace
My sky is forever dimmed

I’m called freer
I said I’d free myself
But butterflies are liars
Their short life spans
Bind their illusionary selves

Mama instilled strength
But you have the courage
You have my love
And I love with Mama’s love
With much you gained

I’ve waded through
Trying to flourish
That boy with your handprints
Is in your Heaven above

Who you tried to preserve
Will never be recaptured
Maybe I deserved
To misread rapture

When I return
To your gardens
I’ll just see thorns
In your blooms
I don’t have to believe
In your Eden
To feel poisoned
By your sweet swoon

You call me deeper
My depths captured
The best of me
You seemed sweeter
Like candy that sickens
As so sugary.

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