Spring Ends

“Spring Ends”

I’m told I’m a miracle

That I have it all in line

But I am not special

When everyone is trying

To save their mind
I once heard too many things

Thought they wanted me confused

I know angels can sing

No song can lessen the weight

Of each bruise
I’ve come a long way

I more or less saved myself

Maybe there was more to save

Before there was less I felt
I am alone today 

Before l came this far

I was surrounded by those

With a lot to say

Now I sit in silence

Surviving a cancerous star
I know I’m not dying

But I don’t know how to live

I’m commended for all I am

But I feel too tired to give
I learned to love

That loving is often a mistake 

I never fathomed love

Had laws to obey
I’m not a miracle

When I’m not worth 

God’s laws to break

I can feel love drift

In and out

Day after day
I’ve come a long way

Now I’m too tired to begin again

I learned too many lessons

I just want to learn

How to cease the rain
I was not always alone

But learned I can’t afford

To be held

That makes days feel like stones

Which is not how they first felt 
Don’t think I succeed 

With still so much clarity I need

You think I breathe

More easily

But I still gasp

And may always cry

To be set free…
I know I have things

But I’ve lived in Spring

Spring ends

There’s a flood

I fight for my things

They wash away

But I can’t escape

My infected blood
I’ve come a long way

But I’m not fully tamed

My heart still floats in a daze

My mind still loses its own games
No one is here to be won

But we all want to be a miracle

I’m not any more sane

I’m not a perfect son

I lose my mind still

Still longing to be special.

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