Downgraded

“Downgraded”

You put your spotlight on me

Then flicked off my shine

In a hurry 
If I were caught in a tree

You’d still have to be home

And still scurry
Now you don’t see why I cry

The puppet has too many strings
If I yell as I cry

You want my screams changed

Into songs you can sweetly sing
Once elated

Now downgraded 

You cannot be in tune

Because that’d be a sad tune
And when I sing in your name

Hunting you down 

Is a losing game
I used to be in your heart

Now I’m low

On your checklist 
If my hands and fingers came apart

They’d perfectly say,

We don’t coexist
If you had to see me die

You house enough warm bodies
But you’ve seen me die

You needed to sleep

I don’t know if you slept pretty
I am faded

And downgraded 

If you were to paint me

Your art would be buried
And when I create in your name

Your name reflects a killed flame
Everyone needs you

You can be their hero

But if I lost my way home

You’d let God let me go
There is not enough time

To pursue your true happiness
You can better survive your youth

If you sit still in your emptiness
And I hate it

Being downgraded 

If I rebirth your soul

You’d keep the cord you stole
And when I warmly melt the frozen

Fluid passion leaves frigidly broken.

Spring Ends

“Spring Ends”

I’m told I’m a miracle

That I have it all in line

But I am not special

When everyone is trying

To save their mind
I once heard too many things

Thought they wanted me confused

I know angels can sing

No song can lessen the weight

Of each bruise
I’ve come a long way

I more or less saved myself

Maybe there was more to save

Before there was less I felt
I am alone today 

Before l came this far

I was surrounded by those

With a lot to say

Now I sit in silence

Surviving a cancerous star
I know I’m not dying

But I don’t know how to live

I’m commended for all I am

But I feel too tired to give
I learned to love

That loving is often a mistake 

I never fathomed love

Had laws to obey
I’m not a miracle

When I’m not worth 

God’s laws to break

I can feel love drift

In and out

Day after day
I’ve come a long way

Now I’m too tired to begin again

I learned too many lessons

I just want to learn

How to cease the rain
I was not always alone

But learned I can’t afford

To be held

That makes days feel like stones

Which is not how they first felt 
Don’t think I succeed 

With still so much clarity I need

You think I breathe

More easily

But I still gasp

And may always cry

To be set free…
I know I have things

But I’ve lived in Spring

Spring ends

There’s a flood

I fight for my things

They wash away

But I can’t escape

My infected blood
I’ve come a long way

But I’m not fully tamed

My heart still floats in a daze

My mind still loses its own games
No one is here to be won

But we all want to be a miracle

I’m not any more sane

I’m not a perfect son

I lose my mind still

Still longing to be special.