Beautiful Boy

I can be so selfless
I can be so selfish I astound
Can you hear yourself cry
when I can be so loud
that I steal your sound?

I found myself out here
when I’m so blonde and lost beyond help
I found I can love you so
Though I can’t even love myself

And I’ve struggled all this time
Like deadly, infected joy
So I may lay beneath you tonight
And be your beautiful boy

I can start over again
As the past will never end
But I cannot remain silent
As death makes it so hard to pretend

And I can keep a smile
Though California is a bully
You are the inspiration
When I’ve never quite loved fully

But I’ve struggled all this time
Like deadly, infected joy
So I may lay beneath you tonight
And be your beautiful boy

It seems as if I’m suddenly enough
Before the disease got to my brain
Now even if I melt upon your touch
I will never again be insane

And I’ve journeyed to this time
Like serendipitious joy
So I may lay beneath you tonight
Wrapped ’round my beautiful boy.

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