Intimate Savior

I’m afraid I have

My father’s cracked mind

I can’t escape him

Even when the stars are aligned

My independent mother can’t teach me

How to surrender the love

Suffocating me

And I’ve tried replacing

The man of my life

But every close second

Gets harder to survive

No man can be good enough

Yours is the love from above

But do I lose my loud mind?

Or lose my heart I’m scared of?

And who is the man of my life?

Is he the disconnected one?

Or the one above the hot sun?

You would hold me

As the soul of the Earth

Your heavenly flight left me

With a restless search

I’ve looked and looked

Til I was broken

My soul was homeless

And I took toxic tokens

But now I’m beginning

To realize

I’ve been trying to hold strange men up

In your dead eyes

No man can be good enough

In light of your heroic love

Do I save another man?

Or the boy you helped dream up?

And who is the man of my life?

Is he the church going one?

Or the one who is my religion?

There’s a strong, gentle man

My subconscious floats with him

It’s in his nature to be

Like an intimate savior

There’s a dangerous notion

My abandoned soul should float with him

But it’s nature to be

A rotting, suffering creature

No man can be good enough

To fill your forsaken space

Do I keep replacing you?

Or kiss the scars on his face?

And who is the man of my life?

The man in the sky’s paradise?

Or the flawed man still so alive?

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